急 求四篇短一点的易懂的英语笑话.

急 求四篇短一点的易懂的英语笑话.
急 求四篇短一点的易懂的英语笑话.

急 求四篇短一点的易懂的英语笑话.
Three pastors
Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away.
Another said, Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I’ve been had the place fumigated, and they still won’t go away.
The third said, I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen one back since!
三个牧师的故事
三个南部的牧师在一家小餐馆里吃午饭.其中的一个说道：“你们知道吗,自从夏天来临,我的教堂的阁楼和顶楼就被蝙蝠骚扰,我用尽了一切办法----噪音、喷雾、猫----似乎什么都不能把它们赶走.”
另外一位说：“是啊,我也是.在我的钟楼和阁楼也有好几百只.我曾经请人把整个地方用烟熏消毒一遍,它们还是赶不走.”
第三个牧师说：“我为我那里的所有蝙蝠洗礼,让它们成为教会的一员.从此一只也没有再回来过.”
Once there was a blind. One day when he was walking, he stepped the head of the dog who was sleeping. The dog barked for a while. The blind man went on for miles, this time he stepped the other dog's tail, so this dog barked. The blind man had thought that it was the first dog, so he said in surprise, It's a wonder that the dog is so long.
从前有个瞎子.一天,他正在行路时踩着了一只正在睡觉的狗的脑袋,狗汪汪汪地叫了一阵.这人又往前走,这回踩着的是另外一只狗的尾巴,狗又汪汪汪地叫起来.瞎子以为还是那条狗,惊诧地说：奇怪,这只狗可真够长的.
Talking clock
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den（私室,贼窝） . What is the big brass gong（锣） and hammer for? one of his friends asked. That is the talking clock, the man replied. How's it work?
Watch, the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!
会说话的钟
一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓,甚是得意.那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的?他的一个朋友问他.那玩意儿厉害了,那是一个会说话的钟,学生回答.这钟怎么工作的,他的朋友问.看着,别眨眼了,那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子,拼命地敲了一下,声音震耳欲聋.突然,他们听到隔壁墙那边有人狂叫,别敲了,你这白痴!现在是凌晨两点钟了!
Is he dying?
A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face. A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.
Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten.
他就要死了吗?
一个男人坐在酒吧里痛哭流泪.一个朋友走进来问他为何如此伤心.那人哭着说：刚才医生告诉我,在我的余生里都要吃这些药片.
他的朋友很轻松地指出,许多人一辈子每天都要吃药.当然,男人回答说：但是他只给了我十片