英语作文句子~I‘m writing to complain about my air conditioner which I purchase in your store that it made too much noise when the maching operated 可以这样写么?

英语作文句子~I‘m writing to complain about my air conditioner which I purchase in your store that it made too much noise when the maching operated 可以这样写么?
英语作文句子~
I‘m writing to complain about my air conditioner which I purchase in your store that it made too much noise when the maching operated 可以这样写么?

英语作文句子~I‘m writing to complain about my air conditioner which I purchase in your store that it made too much noise when the maching operated 可以这样写么?
将原句里的purchase in 改成purchased from,that改成because,when the machine operated改成when the machine is operating就可以了.
也就是说写成：I'm writing to complain about my air conditioner which I purchased in your store because it made too much noise when the machine is operated.是可以的.
不过句子还是简练一点的好：I write this as a complaint to you regarding the air conditioner I purchased from your store as it makes far too much noise during operation.
天上~

错了好多。。。。。你可以这样写The air conditioner which I bought in your shop will make much noise when it is turned on.

这句话太长，而且包含太多重句，可以分开，英语作文不提倡很冗长的句子，这个你们英语老师应该肯定跟你们说过，我个人认为改成，改成 i'm writing to complain about my air conditioner which was purchaed from your store. The reason is that it makes too much noise when it works.