作业帮雅思小作文求点评剑6 test3The two diagrams show the life cycle of the silkworm and the processes to produce silk cloth.In general,the whole lifespan of the silkworm can approximately separate into 4 conservative periods.Originating as egg,aft
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雅思小作文求点评剑6 test3The two diagrams show the life cycle of the silkworm and the processes to produce silk cloth.In general,the whole lifespan of the silkworm can approximately separate into 4 conservative periods.Originating as egg,aft
雅思小作文求点评
剑6
test3
The two diagrams show the life cycle of the silkworm and the
processes to produce silk cloth.
In general,the whole lifespan of the
silkworm can approximately separate into 4 conservative periods.Originating as
egg,after around 10 days of growth,the silkworm turns to the silkworm which
feed on mulberry food.In almost 4-6 weeks,the lava will begin to construct the
silk thread where it will experience the total mutuality to become moth who
delivers the eggs again.
In the process when the mutuality operates,the
complex of larva and silk thread can be defined as the cocoon,which is the raw
material of production of silk cloth.To produce silk cloth,people generally
formulate with 5 sequent stages.At the beginning,the proper cocoon should be
selected.Then,in order to unwind the cocoon more effectively,it has to be
boiled in the fresh water for a fewer minutes.In the end,the unwounded twist
(almost 300-900m per cocoon) and weaves will combine together,putting into the
dye to produce the brand new silk cloth.
雅思小作文求点评剑6 test3The two diagrams show the life cycle of the silkworm and the processes to produce silk cloth.In general,the whole lifespan of the silkworm can approximately separate into 4 conservative periods.Originating as egg,aft
我给6分.
第一,字数够了.没有偏题.起码给5分.
第二,之所以没有给更高得分,因为虽然将整个过程都涵盖了,但是语言语句不够清晰,使人容易产生条理紊乱的印象.因为这是一篇科学性较强的文章,所以要求具有较强的逻辑性.建议最好一幅图一段.或者几幅图一段把时间顺序、逻辑顺序写清楚.
第三,用词比较准确,通顺.可是没有进行很好地修饰,读上去有一些生硬,不自然.可以阅读几篇关于这个的文章,了解一下外国人写科学介绍文的方式和用词.
如果觉得比较中肯就采纳回答吧!