帮我检查一下有没有语法或者逻辑错误Hey Host Family,My name is Jin Yue,my English name is Onny King.I’m a 15-year-old girl.I’m from Hangzhou,China.I’m lively,independent and clever.Firstly,let me introduce myself.My grammar is ac

帮我检查一下有没有语法或者逻辑错误Hey Host Family,My name is Jin Yue,my English name is Onny King.I’m a 15-year-old girl.I’m from Hangzhou,China.I’m lively,independent and clever.Firstly,let me introduce myself.My grammar is ac
帮我检查一下有没有语法或者逻辑错误
Hey Host Family,
My name is Jin Yue,my English name is Onny King.I’m a 15-year-old girl.I’m from Hangzhou,China.I’m lively,independent and clever.
Firstly,let me introduce myself.
My grammar is actually not very good,but my ability of expression is great.So I suppose you will feel a little tired to guess what I mean.But you are welcome to point out all of my grammatical mistakes in daily life.
I always interested in America,so I hope to know the American's culture,custom.Do you mind telling me all of them me in detail?And I wish I can visit some places with local color.Maybe there will be a girl is similar in age to me,I hope so.
I have a wide range of hobby.My main hobby is reading.I have read a large number of books.I like reading many writers’ book,such as Paul Auster,Milan Kundera,Stephen King and the other Chinese writers.I’m also fond of some special things.For example,I really like eating different country’s food.I like eating Italian food,Spanish food,Indonesian food,all kinds of dessert and pizza.I also like making cocktails,playing flute and etc.As you can see,I enjoy my life all the time.
Maybe I ought to tell you something about my family.My father is an engineer,my mother is a teacher,she teaches computer program in college.I don’t have any brothers or sisters.
The above are all of me.
Anyway,I believe we will get along.I’ll try to fit as much as possible into your family.I think this travel will bring me lots of new knowledge,and I think I and your family will have precious memories.I’m looking forward of the time we will spend together.And you?
Fond regards,
Onny
就这个,我给寄宿家庭写的信.请看一下然后指导,我们没见过面,不知道对方名字.
我也知道是用Dear madam/sir比较好，但是样稿上是用dear host family诶。而且，Dear madam/sir是比较公式化的语言，一般用在商业来往上呃。我是给一个家庭写信，不是一个人呃。
顺便再给我提一点关于和美国人交往的意见吧

帮我检查一下有没有语法或者逻辑错误Hey Host Family,My name is Jin Yue,my English name is Onny King.I’m a 15-year-old girl.I’m from Hangzhou,China.I’m lively,independent and clever.Firstly,let me introduce myself.My grammar is ac
I always interested in America,so I hope to know the American's culture,and custom.
The above are all about me.

不要用host family.
用啥都好，哪怕用Hi或者Dear madam/sir也比host family好。

修改如下：
Dear Sir or Madam,
My Chinese name is Jin Yue, and my English name is Onny King. I’m a 15-year-old girl,from Hangzhou, China. I’m lovely, independent and clever.
I'm going to live i...

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修改如下：
Dear Sir or Madam,
My Chinese name is Jin Yue, and my English name is Onny King. I’m a 15-year-old girl,from Hangzhou, China. I’m lovely, independent and clever.
I'm going to live in your home when I get to America,so I want to tell you something about me.
My grammar is not very good, but the ability of my expression is great. I hope when I arrive,I won't make too much trouble for you to guess the meaning of what I want to say. And,If you can point out my language mistakes and help me improve my English,I will be very grateful.
I'm very interested in America, so I want to know more about its culture and custom. Do you mind telling me some about that? Besides, I wish I can visit some local places unique in your country. I will be very happy if there is a girl around my age accompanying me.
I have a lot of hobbies,but I like reading best. I have read a large number of books. I like to read many writers’ books, such as by Paul Auster, Milan Kundera, Stephen King and some Chinese writers. I’m also fond of eating food from different countries. For example, Italian food, Spanish food, Indonesian food, and all kinds of dessert and pizza. I also like making cocktails, playing flute etc. As you can see, I enjoy my life all the time.
Maybe I should tell you something about my family. My father is an engineer, my mother is a teacher, she teaches computer program in a college. I'm the only child in my family.
Anyway, I believe I will have a wonderful time living together with you. I’ll try my best to join your family as soon as possible. I think the travel will teach me lots of knowledge, and we will have a sweet memory in the future.
I’m looking forward to seeing you soon.

Best regards,
Onny
有些地方你的表达有点中国化，外国人说话比较委婉。希望上面的修改对你有所帮助。另外，如果有不恰当的地方，你可以进行再次修改。

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