雅思作文,麻烦改改错,题：In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do thi

雅思作文,麻烦改改错,题：In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do thi
雅思作文,麻烦改改错,
题：In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
In this day and age,it is universally argued that whether students should go to work or travel for a year after their graduation of high school.In my essay,I will describe both upside and downside about this issue.
The advantages of working or traveling before they step into the colleges are a lot.To start with,it can expend people’s horizon by working or traveling.They can learn a large amount of knowledge about colorful life and complicate society,which cannot be learned in books.For the people living in needy,going to work is the best way to relieve family’s financial burden,on the other hand,for the people living in a wealthy life,it can enrich their social experience.With the process of society,the population is booming and the competition is increasingly stiff.To avoid losing competitive among people,they should fulfill their potential in working or traveling and expend their outlook.
In contrast,the disadvantages of that are also obvious.The first and the most essential one is it is more time-consuming if they take a year to do something else instead of studying.Therefore,it will widen the gap between the people who go to university and the people who are not.People who benefit from their work may change their minds and give up studying---but which may not happen because graduating from a university is play a pivotal role in the modern society.
Based on the two sides above .I admit that work or travel may not fit some young people before they go to university.However,the benefit you can acquire is much more than the shortage.For this reason,I believe young people should be encouraged to do what they want to do.

雅思作文,麻烦改改错,题：In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do thi
1.after their graduation from high school
2.The first and the most essential one is that it is more time-consuming
3.because graduating from a university plays a pivotal role in the modern society.
4.I admit that working or traveling may not be fit for some young people
5.I believe young people should be encouraged to do what they want

建议你直接到新东方的批改网提交一下，有外教批改，还能给你范文重写什么的，打的分也比较准
我从那改过，还不错。还有品论、修改意见什么的