要一短篇英语笑话带翻译!

要一短篇英语笑话带翻译!
要一短篇英语笑话
带翻译!

要一短篇英语笑话带翻译!
One day a French man goes to New York.He don't know a word of English.When he arrive in New York,he takes a taxi to the hotel.It's Sunday,so the Frenchman wants to go out for a walk.He walks along the streets and then stop,for he remeber he doesn't no the name of the street,so he wants to write it down.he looks at the wall near the conor of the street.He see some words on it and writes them downin his notebook.He walks for a long time.Then he feels tired and wants to go back to his hotel.He takes the notebook out of his pocket and show the name to a young man.But he doesn't know what the man wants.Do you know what's the words in his notebook?These are the words:No way ahead.
一天一个法国男人到纽约去,他不会英语.当他到达纽约时,他在机场打了一辆出租车去旅馆,这是星期天,所以这个男人想到外面去散步.她走在街上然后想起了他应该记下街的名字以免走失.他看着界的拐角处的墙上写这几个字就把他们记了下来.当他走累时,他把笔记本上的字给一个人看,但那个人也不明白他是什么意思,你知道他的笔记本上写了省么吗?那上面写着“前方没有路”
给点分,我打了半天

1)TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
Slow".
汤姆的借口
老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？
汤姆：我每次路过拐...

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1)TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
Slow".
汤姆的借口
老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？
汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"
DID YOUR DAD...
2)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.
3)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.
4)A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
5)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?”
“Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.”
一盒小火柴
妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的火柴。汤米回来后，妈妈问他，“你买的是好用的火柴吗？”
“是的，妈妈。”汤米回答，“我把它们都试过了。”
6)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.
Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing!
开车
父亲：哎呀，我刚才违规右转弯了。
苏西：没事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也这么转了。
7)Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”
“I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered.
“You’er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?”
“She is the one who sells the candy.”
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆。”他回答说。“你真是一个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说. “再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
8)Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?”
“A kid bit me,”replied Ivan.
“Would you recognize him if you sew him again?”asked his mother.
“I’d know him any where,”said Ivan.”I have his ear in my pocket.”
他的耳朵在我的衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口。”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说，“他的耳朵还在我的衣兜里。”
9)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

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Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school.
One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and st...

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Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school.
One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner.
Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back?"
有一次，一位督学去视察一个只有三间教室的学校。
一间教室非常吵闹，因此督学抓住其中一个正在站着说话的人，把他带进另一间教室，并让他站在墙角。
五分钟以后，一个小男孩从第一间教室走进来，问道，“您什么时候能让我们的老师回去呢？”

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