有什么不妥尽管指出来Passage 1:Dr:You look pale,what's the matter with you?A:Oh!I have a headache,I'm feeling terrible.I need a favor!Dr:Let me see,all right!You have a cold,it make your head headache.Take these pills,you will get well soon.

有什么不妥尽管指出来Passage 1:Dr:You look pale,what's the matter with you?A:Oh!I have a headache,I'm feeling terrible.I need a favor!Dr:Let me see,all right!You have a cold,it make your head headache.Take these pills,you will get well soon.
有什么不妥尽管指出来
Passage 1:
Dr:You look pale,what's the matter with you?
A:Oh!I have a headache,I'm feeling terrible.I need a favor!
Dr:Let me see,all right!You have a cold,it make your head headache.Take these pills,you will get well soon.
A:Doctor,I'm so fat,Can you help me?
Dr:Of course,You should eat less meat and chocolate,more fruit and vegetables.And do more exercise.
A:You're welcome.It's my duty to help others.
Passage 2:
June,sixteeth Saturday sunny
At last minutes in last class on evening.I was very exciting,Because there will be a soccor game.
On my way home,I saw a little boy was crying,I think he got."Do you need a favor?"I asked him.The boy told me her family address.
So I found her home quicky.her family was very happy and said:"You are very kind!come in!Let's have the dinner.""No Thanks,I must go home,good bye!"
When I got home,the soccor game was over,But I'm very happy,I think help others is happy.

有什么不妥尽管指出来Passage 1:Dr:You look pale,what's the matter with you?A:Oh!I have a headache,I'm feeling terrible.I need a favor!Dr:Let me see,all right!You have a cold,it make your head headache.Take these pills,you will get well soon.
楼主不知道是男是女噢,你这两篇文章问题不少噢,建议下次写完自已认真改一下,然后再发到网上请其它人改,这次我帮你改一下吧!可能我要求苛刻了一点,找的错误或者不当之处不少,楼主不要灰心哦,以你现在的水平能写这么多不错了,继续努力.另外有一个问题,就是有些说法不太地道,我也给你标出来了.
I need a favor!
all right!
it make your head headache
A:Doctor,I'm so fat,Can you help me?

Dr:You look pale,what's the matter?
A:Oh!I have a headache,I FEEL terrible.I need a DIAGNOSIS!
Dr:Let me see. all right!You have a cold,it makeS your head HURT.Take these pills,you will get we...

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Dr:You look pale,what's the matter?
A:Oh!I have a headache,I FEEL terrible.I need a DIAGNOSIS!
Dr:Let me see. all right!You have a cold,it makeS your head HURT.Take these pills,you will get well soon.
A:Doctor,I'm ALSO fat,Can you help me?
Dr:Of course,You should eat less meat and chocolate,more fruit and vegetables.And do more exercise.
A:THANK YOU!
DR:You're welcome.It's my duty to help others.
June,sixteeth Saturday sunny
At last minutes in last class IN THEevening.I was very excitED, Because there will be a soccor game.
On my way home,I saw a little boy was crying,I think he got."ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"I asked him. The boy told me her family address. (boy 是用 HER 啊？？)
So I found her home quicky.her family was very happy and said:"You are very kind!come in!Let's have the dinner." I REPLIED, "No Thanks,I must go home,good bye!"
When I got home,the soccor game was over,But I'm very happy,I think help others is REWARDING.
写的不错!! 几年级的？只是一点 vocabulary 和不小心 的错误, 但是，已经很好了。我改的地方是大写的。

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