求修改一篇200字英语小短文,200分,先给100.文章在我空间

求修改一篇200字英语小短文,200分,先给100.文章在我空间
求修改一篇200字英语小短文,200分,先给100.文章在我空间

求修改一篇200字英语小短文,200分,先给100.文章在我空间
As we can see from the cartoon above, a lot of animals are looking at a job ad (advertisement 的 abbreviaton) with an angry or worried expression on their faces. It appears that the boss of the company, who is a cock himself, holds the biased view that only animals who have similar appearances is qualified for the job. Even though many of the other animals may have good personalities and great skills, the company won't open the door for them.
I think this cartoon vividly depicts a serious societal issue: job discrimination. Job discrimination is a big problem in our society. Unlike other social problems, this one is largely rooted in our hearts. Almost every one of us tends to judge a man by his appearance. If we are the CEO of a company, then that kind of perception will lead to job discrimination.
The disease may cause the following problems: First, the man with true talent might not get the job, and this becomes a loss for the entire society. Second, this unfair view will make everyone become concerned about their appearances instead of focusing on improving their internal factors. Last but not least, this kind of discrimination will harm the development of a harmonious society.
In my opinion, we should first come to the consus that this problem is caused by every one of us, so if we want to exterminate this type of discrimiation in society, we should first change our own beliefs.
我帮你把不顺的地方修改了,然后有些单词不太恰当,我也用更适合的单词代替了.
另外一点,英文里的 firstly secondly 这是不正规的说法,应该用 first, second, etc.
～ ♥ 自己认真修改的,现在的文章应该比较地道,敬请采纳、

As we can see from the cartoon above. a lot of animals are reading the position requirements with angry facial expressions. It seems that the boss of the company, a cock, has a partiality for the appl...

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As we can see from the cartoon above. a lot of animals are reading the position requirements with angry facial expressions. It seems that the boss of the company, a cock, has a partiality for the applicants who have the same characteristics as himself. Although many other animals might also have good character and great skills, the door won`t open for them.
I think this cartoon vividly reveals a serious social promblem, i.e. job discrimination. Job discrimination is a big problem in our society. Unlike other social problems, it is a disease in our mind in a high degree. Most of us tend to judge a man by his apperance. If we are the boss, that diseased idea and practice will undoubtedly cause job discrimination too. This may lead to the following problems:
Firstly ,the man with genuine talent will fail to get the job, this is a loss for the whole society.
Secondly,this unfair phenomenon will make us concerned too much about our appearance insead of improving ourselves.
Last but not least, this discrimination will do harm to the construction of an harmonious society.
As far as i am concerned, we should first admit that this problem is caused by each of us. So the only way to make any change to the discrimiation in the society is: Making change to ourselves.

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Looking at the cartoon above, we can see that a lot of animals are
looking at a job admission requirements with either an angry or worried
expression on their face. The boss of the company, ...

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Looking at the cartoon above, we can see that a lot of animals are
looking at a job admission requirements with either an angry or worried
expression on their face. The boss of the company, a cock, seems to have
a biased idea that the only people who can be qualified are those who
have features like himself. Despite the other kinds of animals having
good character or great skills, the door won't open for them.
A very serious society problem can be revealed from this cartoon in my
opinion: job discrimination. It is currently a severe problem in our
society. Unlike the other social problems, it is such a serious disease
in our heart that almost everyone tends to judge a man by his
appearance. A boss with such a heart disease will cause job
discrimination. This disease may lead to problems such as the following:
Firstly, people with true talent will not get the job, which is a loss to the whole society.
Secondly, this unfair thing will make us more concerned about our appearance insteading of improving ourselves.
Finally, this discrimination will surely do harm to the construction of a harmonious society.
To improve on the situation, we should start with recognising that this
problem is not caused by certain people, but every single one of us. If
we want to change the discrimination of the society, we should firstly
try to improve ourselves.

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