求大神看看我的雅思作文 大约能得多少分数?哪里需要修改! The graph illustrates the number of people at a londen underground station between 6:00 and 22:00. We can see from the graph that the number of people was 100, which i

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求大神看看我的雅思作文 大约能得多少分数?哪里需要修改! The graph illustrates the number of people at a londen underground station between 6:00 and 22:00. We can see from the graph that the number of people was 100, which i
求大神看看我的雅思作文 大约能得多少分数?哪里需要修改!

 
 
  The graph illustrates the number of people at a londen underground station between 6:00 and 22:00.
  We can see from the graph that the number of people was 100, which is one of its lowest points. There was a dramatic growth in the number of people,especially at 8:00 when the number reached its the highest point at 400. From then, the number dropped sharply until 10:00.  After that, there was a slight increase in the number of people from about 190 to 290 .  The period from 12:00 to 14:00 remained relatively stable at about 300.  there was a significant flucuation ,specially between 14:00 and 18:00, with a sharp decrease until 16:00, followed by a sharp increase after that date. The period from 18:00 to 22:00 experienced a dramatic decrease ,with a general rise between 20:00 and 21:00.
  It can be seen from the graph that the number at 8:00 had the highest number ,which is 4 times as much as at 16:00 ,which reached its lowest point at 100.

求大神看看我的雅思作文 大约能得多少分数?哪里需要修改! The graph illustrates the number of people at a londen underground station between 6:00 and 22:00. We can see from the graph that the number of people was 100, which i
5.6分左右
句式变化的掌握是没多大问题的.
注意的是文章的连贯性和整体性.比如,第二段第一句,你再读的话感觉感觉和下文的连接如何呢?写完读一读就能发现这方面的问题
注意词的替换.比如number就重复了好几遍,amount,figure,quantity都能替代
最后一段,不要再将最高点和最低点的数值重复一遍,可以替换成地铁站何时最拥挤何时人较少之类
不是考官,仅供参考哦!加油!

求大神看看我的雅思作文 大约能得多少分数?哪里需要修改! The graph illustrates the number of people at a londen underground station between 6:00 and 22:00. We can see from the graph that the number of people was 100, which i 求英语大神帮我看看这篇雅思写作!18号才考的.看看能得多少.我通过回忆全部写出来了!包括写错的地方也有!现在有很多小孩在课堂上越来越不专心了.原因是什么,以下是我的作文:It is not unc 求大侠修改雅思大作文!求哪个大侠帮我看看这篇雅思大作文写的怎么样,有什么可以修改、提高的地方,最重要是看看能得多少分?Some people think earlier technology changed our lives more than recent technolog 求英语老师帮我批改这篇作文? 看看能得多少分? gre作文分数我写了篇托福雅思gre的作文,怎么才能知道大概能的多少分? 求大神看看我这几道题做得对吗 雅思小作文只写了一半,大作文写完了,能得多少分?上次考试雅思小作文只写了第一段,说了一下我要说什么话题,大作文一般,有字数不够的嫌疑(大约差了二十多个词),得了3.5,这次是小作文 求大神帮我看看雅思口语能得多少分?考官是一个白人大胡子,全程没什么表情,P1,P2爱打断我,P3问了我6、7个问题!我全程没什么停顿和犹豫,听到问题就立即回答了.每个问题基本3句话以上吧.有 雅思作文大作文跑题能得多少分 这篇雅思作文能得多少分? 求大神批改雅思作文~能告诉我大概的分数和需要努力的方向吗?作文题目是:Some people think university education should prepare students for employment while others think I should help students acquire theoretical knowledge 我今年高二,英语不好,想去雅思补课.只是想让英语成绩提高些.大约得学多长时间?大约的费用多少? 跪求老师帮忙改雅思作文,改改我的语法,结构,还能帮我看看我应该能得几分吗?some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime.others,however,argue that the circumstances of an individual crim 雅思单词表我准备考雅思5.5到6分 能到6.求单词表 说明下每个分数段的单词量要到达多少单词表传个我也可以 跪求批改!写了一篇雅思作文,各位大神帮忙看看能得个几分,要是能给些建议就更感激了~!这是题目:Some people say that the gap between the poor and rich is becoming wider. What causes lead to this situation and what m 哪位好心人能帮我看看这篇雅思作文值多少分啊?并且如果想得6.5分需要改进的是什么?问:Some people believe that giving heavier penalties to crime such extending imprisonment is the best way to reduce crime.Others, how 大神帮我看看这个雅思口语话题描述能得几分?大家评价一下这段雅思口语描述要是用在part 2中大概是几分的水平?前提是,考生语音语调不错,表达也算流利....For this topic I’d like to talk about the 我雅思写作能考多少之前没接触过雅思写作,网上看了看各个分数段的例文,也看不出什么门道,这里高手多,我就来打算写一篇,各位前辈来看看吧.我随便看到个题目,说是学生用电脑做作业好不